My heart is steadfast, O God.

mayamahal @ 2008-08-25T22:08:00

2008-08-26T05:11:52Z

They were careful
as someone crossing an iced-over stream.
Alert as a warrior in enemy territory.
Courteous as a guest.
Fluid as melting ice.
Shapable as a block of wood.
Receptive as a valley.
Clear as a glass of water.
Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?
The Master doesn't seek fulfillment.
Not seeking, not expecting,
she is present, and can welcome all things.
~Lao Tzu, trans. by Stephen Mitchell

Why can't I make such lovely pieces and sell them?

Sigh.

Moo.

2008-08-12T05:23:50Z

Stolen from faerykitten214

Appearance:

I am 5'4 or shorter.

I think I'm ugly sometimes.

I have many scars.

I tan easily.

I wish my hair was a different colour.

I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.

I have a tattoo.

I am self-conscious about my appearance.

I have/I've had braces.

I wear glasses.

I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.

I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.

I have more than 2 piercings.

I have piercings in places besides my ears.

I have freckles.

Family/Home Life:

I've sworn at my parents.

I've been kicked out of the house.

My biological parents are together.

I have a sibling less than one year old.

I want to have kids someday.

I have children.

I've lost a child.

Embarrassment:

I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.

Disney movies still make me cry.

I've snorted while laughing.

I've laughed so hard I've cried.

I've glued my hand to something.

I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.

I've had my pants rip in public.

Health:

I was born with a disease/impairment.

I've had stitches.

I've broken a bone.

I've had my tonsils removed.

I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.

I've had my wisdom teeth removed.

I've had a serious surgery.

I've had chicken pox.

Traveling:

I've driven or ridden over 200 miles in one day.

I've been on a plane

I've been to Canada.

I've been to Niagara Falls.

I've been to Japan.

I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

I've been to Europe.

I've been to Africa.

I've been to France.

Experiences:

I've been lost in my city.

I've seen a shooting star.

I've wished on a shooting star.

I've seen a meteor shower.

I've gone out in public in my pajamas.

I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.

I've been to a casino.

I've been skydiving.

I've gone skinny dipping.

I've played spin the bottle.

I've crashed a car.

I've been skiing.

I've been in a play.

I've met someone from the Internet in person.

I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.

I've seen the Northern Lights.

I've sat on a rooftop at night.

I've played chicken.

I've played a prank on someone.

I've ridden in a taxi.

I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I've eaten sushi.

I've been snowboarding.

Relationships:

I'm single.

I'm in a relationship.

I'm available.

I'm engaged.

I'm married.

I've gone on a blind date.

I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.

I miss someone right now.

I have a fear of abandonment.

I've been divorced.

I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.

I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.

I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.

I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality:

I've had a crush on someone of the same gender.

I've kissed a member of the same gender.

I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender.

I've had sex with someone of the same gender.

I've had sex with more than one person at the same time.

I am a cuddler.

I've been kissed in the rain.

I've had sex outdoors.

I've hugged a stranger.

I have kissed a stranger.

I have had sex with a stranger.

Honesty/Crime:

I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.

I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.

I have lied to my parents about where I am.

I am keeping a secret from the world.

I've cheated while playing a game.

I've cheated on a test.

I've run a red light.

I've been suspended from school.

I've witnessed a crime.

I've been in a fist fight.

I've been arrested.

I've shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol:

I've consumed alcohol.

I've smoked cigarettes.

I smoke pot.

I regularly drink.

I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.

I've done hard drugs.

I've been addicted to an illegal substance.

I take cough meds when I'm not sick.

I can't swallow pills.

I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem

Mental health:

I have been diagnosed with depression.

I shut others out when I'm depressed.

I take anti-depressants.

I have an eating disorder.

I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.

I've hurt myself on purpose.

I'm addicted to self harm.

I've woken up crying.

Death:

I'm afraid of dying.

I hate funerals.

I've seen someone dying.

I have attempted suicide.

Someone close to me has attempted suicide.

Someone close to me has committed suicide.

Random:

I can sing well.

I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.

I open up to others too easily.

I watch the news.

I don't kill bugs.

I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.

I curse regularly.

I sing in the shower.

I am a morning person.

I paid for my cell phone ring tone.

I'm a snob about grammar.

I am a sports fanatic.

I play with my hair.

I have/had "x"s in my screen name.

I love being neat.

I love Spam.

I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.

I bake well.

My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.

I don't know how to shoot a gun.

I am in love with love.

I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.

I laugh at my own jokes.

I eat fast food weekly.

I believe in ghosts.

I am online 24/7, even as an away message.

I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.

I am really ticklish.

I love white chocolate.

I bite my nails.

I play video games.

I'm good at remembering faces.

I'm good at remembering names.

I'm good at remembering dates.

I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

My answers are totally honest.

Gods. I am a dwarf. I see a bit of silver so well-wrought and I get all tingly.

2008-08-10T23:14:36Z

Sterling Silver Hand Engraved, Business Card Case

"This Business Card Holder is made for Standard size 3 1/2" X 2" American Business card. It's all Hand Made with Solid Sterling Silver, and Expertly Hand Engraved in Classic Traditional Styling."

sigh. WTB gold. PST.

mayamahal @ 2008-07-12T23:06:00

2008-07-13T06:06:31Z

Live to the point of tears.
-Albert Camus

Elfquest Fans everywhere; REJOICE!

2008-07-11T03:08:41Z

Elfquest Movie To Be Made!

OMG!

Shade and sweet water!

mayamahal @ 2008-07-09T00:18:00

2008-07-09T07:23:14Z

Drank away the rest of the day
(wonder what my liver'd say).
Drink, that's all you can.
Blackened days with their bigger gales,
blow in your parlor to discuss the day.

Listen, that's all you can.

Ah, but don't, no don't sink the boat.
That you built, you built to keep afloat.

Sick and tired of what to say,
no one listens anyway.

Sing, that's all you can.

Ramblin' years of lousy luck,
You miss the smell of burnin' turf.
Dream, that's all you can.

Singled out for who you are,
it takes all types to judge a man.
Feel, that's all you can.

Filthy suits with bigot ears,
hide behind their own worst fears.

Live, that's all you can.
It's all you can.
It's all you can do.

No matter where I put my head
I'll wake up feeling sound again.
Breathe, it's all you can.

Tomorrow smells of less decay,
the flowers greet this bloomin' fray.
Be thankful, that's all you can.

A ripe old age,
that's what I am.
A ripe old age,
just doin' the best I can.

mayamahal @ 2008-07-02T23:05:00

2008-07-03T06:17:44Z

Mm.

2008-06-27T06:37:26Z

I know I'm not the man I used to be lately.
See, you met me at a very interesting time.
If my past is any sign of you future,
you should be warned before I let you inside.

Hold on to whatever you find, baby.
Hold on to whatever will get you through.
Hold on to whatever you find, baby.
I don't trust myself with loving you.

I will beg my way in to your garden
and I'll break my way out when it rains,
just to get back to the place that I started,
so I can want you back all over again.
(...I don't really understand...)

Who do you love?
Girl I see through, through your love.
Who do you love?
Me or the thought of me?

Hold on to whatever you find, baby.
Hold on to whatever will get you through.
Hold on to whatever you find, baby.
I don't trust myself with loving you.

Hmm.

2008-06-18T03:05:23Z

You'd think after 6 plus years, people would take the hint.

Seriously? It's never going to happen and I'd really prefer it if you kept to your promise and stay out of my life.

Just stop. It's done.

This made me weepy.

2008-06-17T04:15:19Z

Lesbian Couple of 55 Years Get to Say 'I Do' Again. <3

Happily stolen from boudiceaborn. Thank Ellen. <3<3

Oh my Gods.

2008-06-14T00:22:21Z

The bread came out... so .. freaking .. delicious. And filling! Holy cow. @_@

I recommend this to everyone.

Omg full bear is FULL.

Rawr.

Baking!

2008-06-13T23:04:29Z

I'm a big fan of non-bread machine bread recipes, mostly because I was raised on good ol' Filipino Banana Bread, which was traditionally baked in the embers of a Nipa hut without anything so technologically advanced as a toothpick to check if it was done.

(I'm exaggerating, but not by much).

Anyway! I've made banana bread while I've been here, and have been experimenting with a few variations of the simple bread-to-pan recipe. We bought an omg-lotta-strawberries a few nights ago, and I HATE the idea of food going bad, especially something as precious as fresh food. So in order to bite into my store of delicious berries and preserve it in a more convenient form, I did some research on AllRecipes.com and came up with this. <3

Strawberry Bread
(modified by me for my own tastes, the original found here)
INGREDIENTS (makes two loafs)

* 3 cups fresh strawberries
* 1.5 cups of all-purpose flour
* 1.5 cups of whole wheat flour
* 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 1 1/4 cups vegetable oil
* 4 eggs, beaten
* 2 cups of white sugar

Directions:
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
- Butter and flour two 9 x 5 inch loaf pans.
- Slice strawberries, and place in medium-sized bowl. Sprinkle lightly with sugar, and set aside while preparing bread mixture.
- Combine the two kinds of flour, sugar, cinnamon, salt and baking soda in large bowl: mix well.
- Blend oil and eggs into strawberries. Add strawberry mixture to flour mixture, blending until dry ingredients are just moistened.
- Divide batter into pans.
- Bake for 45 to 50 minutes, or until tester inserted comes out clean. Let cool in pans on wire rack for 10 minutes. Turn loaves out, and cool completely.

It's currently baking. Smells omg so good. I like whole wheat stuff (better for me, though this recipe is hardly good for anything but being devoured >_>) and I don't like the pecans the original recipe asked for. I'm not a big nut-bread person.

It'll be done soon, I'll give me opinion on its tastes then. :D

Quick note: Attention all you Nigel fans!

2008-06-04T20:23:50Z

Nigel's apartment burned down the other night.

He is fine and pretty happy, at least as well as can be expected. He wanted me to let you all know that he's okay, but he's not going to be online for a bit. He's gonna be 'floating' for a while.

His phone still works, I'm sure he would appreciate a call or two. If you don't have it, I can email it to you. <3

The story of the fire is pretty interesting, I'll let him tell it when he gets back though.

Lemme know if ya'll have questions, I'm sure this post is a little vague.

On a personal note, I'm in Louisville, currently kidnapped by the beautiful . We've had food stuff, girl-talk, shopping, and I am currently playing with her weasel, which she's named Ursula.

Is very cute. <3

More later. Missing boyfriend, all that jazz. QQ.

People need to see these.

2008-05-30T18:16:08Z

Passed to me by the beautiful asamamoru, heartily taken to show everyone else I know.

May 12th China Earthquake: Comic Strips

"...The amount of incredibly moving stories of victims, rescuers, volunteers is simply shocking at the moment. I have been collecting newspapers of all the stories, and telling them in the form of comic strips. I hope these stories could show the UK readers the love, warmth and courage of the Chinese people, also the sad and cruel reality of the horrible 5.12 Earthquake...."

This artist tells these amazing stories about events and moments and people in the quake, and I agree with Shalan; I totally teared up and I don't care what any of you think about it. These are beautiful and raw and more people need to read them.

AH MAH GAD SAMMY-

2008-05-29T18:47:05Z

Teaser.

2008-05-29T06:47:01Z

...

2008-05-28T03:27:53Z

Something about his eyes stops my heart and makes me look twice.

I can't explain it.

DEELISHUS ALIEN JIZZ!

2008-05-19T06:55:45Z

Taleron: Have a nice swim?
Lorelei: uh huh
Lorelei: got some uber good doughnuts on the way home
Lorelei: strawberry donuts
Lorelei: with REAL strawberries
Taleron: neat
Lorelei: EVERYWHERE
Lorelei: it was like
Lorelei: a Strawberry ALien impregnated a normal sexy donut
Lorelei: and the strawberry alien babies just burst out of it
Taleron: XD
Lorelei: and they bleed juice and sugar glaze @_@
Kunocati: .....
Taleron: yumz
Taleron: Strawberry alien jizz encased in a pastry with a fuckhole in it
Taleron: Delishus
Lorelei: god it was so good.
Lorelei: And I'm posting this to my livejournal.
Taleron: SMILE LIKE A DONUT
Taleron: So, is Strawberry Shortcake some human midget-alien hybrid?
Lorelei: ...

I can has website k?

2008-05-16T16:34:50Z

Some old stuff, a lot of new stuff. Check it out, let me know what ya'll think. <3

(I think my favorite part is the sketchbooks ('books') section.)

Who is this?

2008-05-14T08:08:54Z

I drew her and I don't know who she is.

Who is she?

Packing and thinking.

2008-05-02T06:31:34Z

Please don't go crazy if I tell you the truth. No, you don't know what happened and you never will if you don't listen to me while I talk to the wall.

This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall-
Where you've had me for hours til I'm sure what I want, but darling, I want the same thing I wanted before.

So sweetheart tell me what's up. I won't stop. No way.

Please keep your hands down and stop raising your voice, it's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice. It's a simple suggestion.
Can you give me some time?
Just say yes or no. why can't you shoulder the blame because my shoulders are heavy from the weight of us both
you're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
you've not heard a single word I have said. Oh my god.

Please take it easy. It can't all be my fault. I haven't made half the mistakes that you've listed so far. Baby, let me explain something, it's all down to drugs, at least the ones I remember taking and not a lot else. It seems I've stepped over lines you've drawn again and again, but if the ecstasy's in, the wit is definitely out.

Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride.

You'll always see the sun again.

2008-05-01T01:21:52Z

In retrospect, my brief dip into melancholia ends like it always does ... the sun rises and a new day begins. And it's best when I don't remember this in the darkness... because it's all the sweeter when the light breaks over my cheeks and I relearn the ability to smile.

...come on, take my hand.
We're going for a walk, I know you can.
You can wear anything as long as it's not black.
Please don't mourn forever;
she's not coming back.

And yes they'll ask you where you've been,
and you'll have to tell them again and again.

And you probably don't want to hear "Tomorrow's another day!"
Well, I promise you:
"You'll see the sun again."

And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness.
And I promise you,
"you'll see the sun again."

mayamahal @ 2008-04-18T00:58:00

2008-04-18T08:02:42Z

I am sick
unto death
of being loyal
and honest
and open
to people
who
do
not
deserve it
nor give it
in return.

OMG!

2008-04-18T03:48:14Z

OMFG HAPPY BIRFING DAY POOKY!

Pretty song.

2008-04-17T23:32:10Z

My eyes are so blue,
I can't see you
as you're closing
the door once again.

The seasons who came
and swept me away,
but you're turning
to fall into rain.

You left me behind
as you took me away.
Now I'm stuck here alone
with my thoughts.

These words seem so cold
I can't hide away
the pain that you gave me
when you walked away.

And you left me with things that you did;
Can't hide away.

Answers echoed from places you've been;
can't hide away.

The silence inside
is stained by your voice
when you told me
that you had no choice.

The sadness within
makes me angry now,
I can still feel the taste
of your tongue.

And you left me things that you did;
Can't hide away.

Answers echoed from places you've been;
Can't hide away.

Since you left me, my thoughts have been with you.
Can't hide away.

Unable to find what I used to be like,
Can't run away.